What in the world is love? Is a question I’ve asked so many times longing for the answer. I think that is entirely, completely the wrong question. Because love is out of this world! Do you understand that?! Do you believe that? That Love is not of this world! Love is so much greater that it can’t compare to the small and meager boyfriend that you can’t live without. The love of a boyfriend is so small compared to true love. It can’t compare to the greed in our hearts for the fake love on the computer. No no! Love cannot come from a computer, because the world created the computer! Not love. I think love is sometimes so underestimated that we are filled with shame, and guilt so that we no longer feel love. So many times we put love into something that can’t fufill its defintion. that we start to think that there isn’t such thing as love. But I just think those who think that, are just the product of fake love. I think when we put our love into something that can’t contain it is when we truly loose just the thing that we were searching for. I think when we put our love into the magazines, and the pictures that they contain and we try to be just like them because we think, in our world centerted heart that when we look like that that that is when we will be loved. That if I can just be that, then I can be loved. I can be pretty! I think when we search for love, guys, that if she isn’t the right hair color, if she isn’t the right size, if she doesn’t have the right curves we can’t ever justify her bringing love to us! But when we strive to accomplish these things, the reality is that even if we put our whole life into being just what we want to be, we still won’t feel love. Because we have been misguided, and we have been wronged, when we realize that boyfriends break up with you, girlfriends they find someone better. The feeling that we longed for, yeah. It ends. When we think that we are there, and that we can’t be any better. That we are at the top, that no one else can get as good of a grade as me. That there can’t possibly be anyone better than me. I mean I’ve answered all the questions, I’ve got perfect grades there isn’t even a 99 on the report. The realization comes that someone not even so far away tried finding love in the same thing and is as disappointed as you to know that you exist. The realization comes that when the high ends, we come back to the same thing that we so fastly ran away from. That we can not escape this longing in our hearts for love. That there is no way around it. That somberness is quite frankly becoming my fear. The fear of having to come back to the reality that what we have strived to get away from can’t satisify what we need. When we come to understand that the money we bend over backward to earn will only fade away in the end. Money can’t bring us happiness! Money can’t make everything easy, it can’t solve my problems no more than a calculator solves a math problem until it appears you have an error. When we come to the point where our devotion in every little thing that we try to find love in helplessly brings us back to the same thing that we wanted to leave. Stronger.
BUT when we, we come to the depth of hurt that can’t get any worse we discover that You have been there the entire time. With your face turned us and our backs to you. Just completely looking and searching in the wrong direction. And when we turn our entire body around to you and realize that you have longed for us, as much as we have longed for you. The only definition of love. We are embraced in arms that will never cease to let us go. In a hug of complete, whole love.
I Am Broken (by MovieMakerPro8) Brokenness is so inevitable! Undeniably, heartbreakingly, pathetically undeniable. Everybody on this entire planet, has felt worthless! Worthless. Like they shouldn’t be alive. Like they don’t, just don’t have a purpose! Over and over and over and over and over again going through their heads, why am I here? What good am I to anyone on this planet? I am so messed up, I put myself through all this pain, for what purpose? We are so caught up in the worldly things, that we completely miss the point. Why do we put our hope, faith, and trust in things that just do not satisfy our needs? We so long for love. We just want to be loved. Genuinely, whole heartedly, never failing, love. We want it with everything we have. So we search with for it with everything that we have, desperately, hopelessly search for it with everything we have. With the last breath we can find it. Instead though we settle for less. Everyone on this planet settles for less. We put our hope that we will feel loved in things that just do not last. We cry out that they do! But they won’t. We have a hole so big in our heart. A heart is not whole without the blood of your Son, Lord.
Figured since this is almost my first real post on Tumblr, and because I want to do more I would start by simply telling you my name. Jacob Andrew Martinez. No, I’m not Hispanic. “Why is your last name Martinez then?” The answer to that I can barely give you its so confusing. I’ve asked my mom one thousand times and still can’t figure out why my last name is Martinez. I don’t mind it though. I tell people I’m Cuban because I am, that’s something I do know but after the Cuba missle crisis all history of my family has been fuzzy. My great great grandfather I can’t even tell you how many times back, it could be only once, or twice great but I’m not sure owned Martinez’s Cigars and was rich in Cuba. I don’t have any of his inheritance though. I guess its something to be proud of. I wonder about it sometimes. If there are family in Cuba that I don’t know about. It’s an interesting story, I’d like to figure out more of my last name. My first name is I love on the other hand, not mistakly thinking that I don’t love my last name, it means “keeper of the light.” The only reason I know that is my grandmother before she passed away gave me a little keychain you get a gift shops on vacation that have your name on them. I’ve always kept it more than that though. It’s a biblical name and I’m very proud of that. Jacob a.k.a. Isreal is the son of Issac and the grandson of Abraham. Now when you hear Abraham, such a powerful name, you might come to think of a phrase such as “father of many nations” which is what Abraham means. This is because from Abraham comes all great descendants of the world. I take pride in being named after Abraham’s grandson. It brings greater meaning to me after I found out my name Jacob means keeper of the light. I think of that as Abraham having much favor with the Lord, obeying and trusting in him in all he did a responsibility to me as keeper of the light to take that very seriously and always keep the light of the Lord shining. In my heart I will do the best I can to never let the light of the Lord not shine from me. As for me and my name, I am proud of being named Jacob Andrew Martinez the first, esquire. (My dad before he died would always right esquire after his name to feel official so I want to hold onto his legacy and write esquire too, for a little finesse in your name, and I am really the first because as of right now there is no one below me with my name, maybe someday there will be though!)
The reality is that we are desperately broken and all look for something to fill the painful void in our hearts. You may choose to satisfy that void with things so temporary such as
drinking or smoking. Things that will fade and go away and only lead to harm and more hurt and pain that wasn’t ever meant for you. You were designed for love. So may I interest you in the one God that will heal, comfort, and protect you while filling that hole in your heart with an unimaginable, incomparable love that will satisfy you for eternity. Our God is good when there is nothing good in us. He is hope, and he has covered all of our sin. He is true even in our wondering. He is joy and the reason we sing. The riches of His love will ALWAYS be enough. So can we overcome
drinking or smoking that will fade and go away and only lead to harm and more hurt and pain that wasn’t ever meant for you. You were designed for love. So may I interest you in the one God that will heal, comfort, and protect you while filling that whole in your heart with an unimaginable, incomparable love that will satisfy you for eternity. Our God is good when there is nothing good in us. He is hope, and he has covered all of our sin. He is true even in our wondering. He is joy and the reason we sing. The riches of His love will ALWAYS be enough. So can we overcome this world and get lost in His freedom.”